How to make a Manufactroversy

Jealous of the anti-vaccination brigade, the anti-LHC “black hole” kooks, the “9/11 Truthers”, the Birthers, Creationists, Flat-Earthers, and/or just about anyone else who’s created a movement that flies in the face of rationality, science, and the evidence? Here’s a quick and easy four-step guide on how to create a scientific controversy, fabricated from whole cloth; and another, more in-depth guide on how to build an anti-vax-like movement.

Each of these methods can be adapted to fit the tactics used by the various movements I’ve listed above. It’s simple — all you have to do is to a) know the truth, and b) lie your ass off about it. Alternatively, if you’re not a cynical fuck that’s just out to destroy something good, you could convince yourself that your pet cause must absolutely be true and your viewpoint must absolutely be correct, then pore through all available evidence looking for the merest shred of evidence that your conclusions (which are also your first principles) might be plausible, under any configuration of the variables, no matter how unlikely. Or, you could merely look for any evidence that casts doubt on the scientifically derived conclusions, no matter how flimsy, and cast the whole “argument” (which, I reiterate, you’ve created from thin air) as a dichotomy between the science and your fear-mongering.

Oh, and when the science disproves your implausible or impossible scenarios, blame something vague that can’t be pinned down, like “toxins” or something to do with quantum mechanics. Yeah, that’s the ticket.